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Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Must be Tuesday

Why do I bother? Typically, I have a sense I have not accomplished much of anything. Yet, it remains something I am compelled to continue to do because the alternative would be more than a sense of doing nothing but the reality of having done nothing.

I know I am not commanded to fast. I know fasting is not a guarantee or the quick (given the topic I chose this as the best word choice) track to spirituality. Up until about eight months ago fasting had never been a regular part of my life in my thirty years in the Lord. Then, from what I can only describe as an inner cry for my family, I purposed a time of fasting. I determined to declare a fast of four days. I will say my sustenance was limited to water. I can not remember if I had any coffee (black, no cream, no sugar) but I honestly can't remember.

What I cannot say, I am ashamed to admit, is that I feasted heavily on the word. Yes, the word was very much on my mind. Hunger pretty much subsided after the second day. Sitting with my family or co-workers during mealtime was not a struggle. I maintained, as I determined I would, my daily two-mile walk regimen. My dedicated time of prayer was not such as I could commend to anyone.

So, as I reflect on that initial time of fasting what did I gain? I pose this question mainly to show yet another example of my (I may be the only one) problem thinking to think fasting is for gain. The fruit of my fasting is that the Spirit has started in me what has become a regular, weekly practice of dedicating a day of fasting unto the Lord. I accept the charge that this sounds pious, but I will stand by it that it is unto the Lord. I have learned through many experiences how God answers my pray and prayerful requests only to go undiscerned by me until much later. God is too good. How can I say that when I turned around one month and added a second day to my weekly fast? God knows. He knows whether it was from the perspective of God-did-you-not-see-did-you-not-hear or Oh-God-my-God.

I have an abiding conviction founded in Jesus. He was without a doubt the ultimate spiritual man. Still, he never claimed it. He never taught his disciples from the How-to-Be-Spiritual manual, but he did model it for them as for us. Yet, the most captivating aspect of Jesus is that with the exception of that purposeful 40 day fast in the wilderness everything he taught and demonstrated the life of a spiritual in the streets among men, not from a mountaintop refuge. I would rather stumble in the street than fall off a mountaintop.

I no more mention my fasting here as some achievement than I care to reveal that when co-workers ask why I am not eating. My tenuous, brief reply: "It's Tuesday." Should they inquire further I elaborate. Tuesday is coming and I am compelled to do _ something.

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